Kids A and L are, on average, fairly solid sleepers. Short of major power tool usage, we don't really censor ourselves much, in an auditory sense.
However, there are some noises that, if they occur when the kids are possibly on the cusp of wakefulness, make our spines crinkle. The sound occurs...it reverberates...we freeze like we've been spotted by a panther, waiting for the monitor to burst to life...then resume our goings-on, exchanging relieved, sweaty glances. Sometimes the perpetrator of the sound will be on the receiving end of a harsh gaze.
Here is a short list of some of the more egregious offenders of kid-waking cacaphonies.
Day ninety two.
Given any two pieces of any material of my choosing, I could never in a million years make so offensive and shrieking a sound as is produced by our shower curtain rings. It's like a sound effect from Lord of the Rings.
Offensive meter: sham wow
Putting clean pots up on the rack can get downright clangy. Clang! Fun sound while girls are awake...not so when they're slumbering.
Offensive meter: Paula Abdul, or maybe a parking ticket
Technically the dog is at fault here, but the cat carries much of the blame. He taunts the dog ruthlessly, to the point that Olly lives in constant fear of attack. It's hilarious. Not so funny is when the cat jumps on our bed and surprises the dog sometime during the night. Olly responds by barking an extraordinarily sharp report that lasts a good 4 seconds. As a bonus, his head is sometimes lodged about 8 inches from our ears.
From a sleeping state, it sounds like the world is exploding. Amplified. It shatters my brain.
Amazingly, I don't think one of these events has ever woken the girls, which is astounding.
Offensive meter: the phrase "there's an app for that"
And finally, my attempt to rectify my failures as father and photographer: a picture of the Absigail.
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