Saturday, December 26, 2009

I heart tonguefish.

Tracey and Lucy, aka The Luce. Jen took this photo...I liked it.
Dad/Papa fearlessly offered to stay home with the twins today while the rest of us went on a little 3 hour boat tour. It was a fun event, and nice to get away from the girls for just a bit. The tour let us off on Picnic Island, and all us tourists piled out and set about catching small marine life with nets. There wasn't much to be found, but I was still fairly excited to come up with the occasional tonguefish, a mini-flounder type waif of a fish. They're very flappy, although they don't taste very much like tongue at all. Way too salty.
It was right chilly during the ride out there, and I wasn't exactly tearing off my shirt to get into the water, but it was surprising how quickly 68 degree water and I decided to get along. I was struck by the oddity of being in nothing but sandals and swim trunks, rather comfortable in the water, while the non-swimming contingency of the tour were bundled up on the beach like a patagonian expedition.
The rest of the day passed as all the others have, simply doing nothing specific while being with family. In other words...a holiday.
Day three hundred and thirteen.
Pelican thinking thoughts only a pelican could understand. Photo credits to Steve on this one.




Jen and I. This was all me.



Tracey and Jen on Picnic Island.




Oliver and I discussing boat horsepower. We agreed that more is better.













Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas, all!

Stone crabs and Corona...Christmastime indeed!

Pint sized snacker

Aunt Joy showing the morons how to work a toy cell phone, which they loved.


She's taking calls!



Looking for some quiet for an important call.





Thursday, December 24, 2009

'Twas the night before Christmas...


It's Christmastime! Cram your hole full of happiness and frosting, why dontcha?

What sort of tropical hijinks transpire on a Floridian Christmas Eve, my Minnesotan brothers and sisters might be wondering? Let me tell you.

- Instead of sledding, you and the family take the kids to the pool. There's no snow anywhere! And people wear bathing suits! The girls loved the swimming, as they always do. Abby even went in the hot tub - it wasn't really that hot - although Lily wasn't a huge fan.

- You see salamanders! Very rare in MN this time of year. We saw a few outside my Dad's house. They thought they were pretty funny, but when I tried to catch one, I think they were a little confused. So were the salamanders.

- We did crafts! Thanks to Aunt Tracey being on the ball (she is so far on she's off again), we made reindeer food. You may not be aware, but a reindeer's primary diet consists of Quaker oats and glitter, mixed in a paper bowl, and strewn across the lawn.

After that, we made some Christmas cookies. Lily didn't seem to grasp the idea, and spent a goodly portion of the time eating the frosting, one fingertip's worth at a time. Abby did a bit better (probably because Jen was helping her and I was helping Lily), and mixed up some really noxious looking frosting mix. She dug it, though.

- We ran around the neighborhood in bare feet. Again, not normally something to attempt in Minnesota.

And after all that, you eat a crapload of food and stay up too late, then play a game of Sorry where you find out that your brother is a vengeful bastard with a large, seething pit of spite in his soul. Just kidding. Not really. Listen, I play Sorry to win. I lost of course, but Jen won, and she won gracefully.

In Minnesota, a crapload of Grater's ice cream certainly wouldn't be as awesome, but luckily we're in Florida, and our Aunt Betty and Uncle Jerry rule so much that they sent us about a hundred pints of said ice cream. Thanks, Cincinnati relatives!

Santa is on his way, as I write this. Exciting! Tomorrow, the anarchy of Christmas is on.

Day three hundred and Christmas Eve

Grace throws out fistfulls of reindeer food for Donner, Vixen, Blitzen...and all those other yahoos.

Lily doles out reindeer food sparingly. Give it up, L...those guys are hungry.


There ya go.




Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Aaaaairrplane!!!

Hello, Florida! We've navigated the various torments that were laid out for us today, and we can now bask in the glow of Fort Myers's awesome moonlight. It'll be much more worth it tomorrow when the sun is out.

All in all, the day went fairly well. Let's just pick up right about where we were showing up at the airport....

Sun Country does offer curbside check-in, and we decided this was a service we wanted to pounce on. After trying to pull to the curb (a lovely woman decided not to pull up and allow me access, despite having plenty of room), we got all the bags out, all the kids out, all the everything out, and I left Jen in line to cast our lot with those mysterious skycap folk to go park the car. By the time I made it back, Jen had checked in (she's speedy), but they couldn't get us three seats together...two were together, and the other one was across the aisle. I was pretty livid, since they don't let you check in online when you have kids. So, for those of us (parents) that desperately need (nay, REQUIRE) our seats to be together, we're the ones that can't take advantage of the online check in and seat selection. Bravo, airlines.

The security line was brutal, especially by Humphrey standards. Almost 45 minutes to navigate the snakey line of people, who seemed to be largely cheerful and in the proper holiday spirit. Comments were exchanged...people told us the girls were cute (and they were, sitting placidly in their stroller, content to only view the spectacle of air travel). Even the two people who tried to cut in front of us were rather happy, if not uber-ditzy. I've passed much worse lengths of time.

When the moment was upon us and it was our turn to pass through the steely jaws of homeland security, the girls remained in good spirit, but it is anarchy with all that stuff and the kids. Anarchy, I say and repeat for effect. We had a total of 4 bags, 2 kids, and a stroller, plus the ubiquitous bin of shoes and wallets and assorted castaway items not befitting a proper tour through the metal detector. It's a whirlwind, getting the kids out, taking their shoes off (oh yes, for those non-parental types and those not in the know, 22 month olds must have their shoes removed). This proved to be a near disaster, because Lily, freshly arrived in a phase where she likes to be in charge of her own destiny (it's called free will, I believe), does not like anyone removing and/or adding footwear without her consent. She almost lost it there, but didn't. In the end, the whole transit was relatively minor and easy. The girls suffered it well.

Inside the secure area, we headed for the playground right across from our gate. Yay, Humphrey has playgrounds! Hooray! It's a beautiful thing! Except when your flight is leaving and you have to tear one of your kids away from it! Boo for playgrounds! It was Lily, and she freaking LOST IT. She was in an outright panic, and so the trip onto the jetway, down the jetway, onto the airplane, and into the carry on baggage space under the seat in front of me where she eventually collapsed, it was all a nightmare. She was thrashing and biting and hitting and fighting me every single second, and with every part of her being. I think I had an out of body experience at some point during it all.

I left her on the floor of the aircraft, where doubtless numbers of passengers have vomited in flights past, and she thrashed about in abject anger. After about 10 minutes, while those passengers walking aftward eyed us with suspicion and relief that they were seated away from us, she began to only cry normally. Then barely at all. Then she recognized that her shoe was off. I asked her if she wanted a lollipop and for me to put her shoe back on. She happily replied in the affirmative, and she was totally fine for the rest of the flight.

I had Lily on my lap by the window when we got deiced. That was fun. She was a little scared because the truck was right next to our window, and it's a little scary, but when they started shooting out the Type 1, she thought it was all a hoot.

Abby was mostly good as well, the coy little monkey. Her biggest flaw was a constant fidgetiness that could not be assuaged at times. She would usually be okay, or we could entertain her for the most part, but a couple times she just really would not be happy. Also, she does not like turbulence, and is not a fan of anything abrupt or noisy. When they threw the first notch of flaps in during the arrival, she just about pooped her pants. Actually, she might have, since I smelled something terrible not long after that. She cried, and everything after that kinda freaked her out a bit. They used the speedbrakes once, and that makes the plane kinda drop a bit - especially if you throw them all in quickly - and I think she thought that was the end. Poor monkey.

Reunited with the Gels side once more, they seem to be quite happy. As are we. It's nice to be here, and we're hoping for a lovely holiday. No more playgrounds.

No pictures today, sorry. I'll be better tomorrow.

Day three hundred and ten.

ps. Lori, you did win, it was Abby's finger in the outlet that I was talking about. Although many other interesting points were raised. While I'd like to award you some credit for that, you've also tried to blackmail me recently with the withholding of treats, which is pretty harsh. That was made public at work, so now I'm getting a lot of pressure from coworkers to continue. Thanks! Now I'm the bad guy!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Packing is hard.

A right presidential picture of El Gato.

It's almost 11. There is still so very much to do for the trip tomorrow, but I have faith it will all just happen. By "faith", I mean "Jen". The right tactical move, spousally speaking, is for me to draw this blog entry out as long as feasible, minimizing my packing efforts.

Tactics might also suggest that I not publicize these tactics, as I've already done. Bah. I'll just be quick, then.

Tomorrow, 3:50 we shall depart for Fort Myers (or RSW for those of the aviation ilk). I'm still stressed about it, but my Dad gave me some good advice. He pointed out that the kids will pick up on our moods and act appropriately, so I should really just relax and remember that it's a vacation and it's their first flight - a momentous event! - so I should simply let it all unfold as it will, and the morons will hopefully be positive as well. Words to live by.

Jon and Suze had us all over tonight for the Stalker-side Christmas, which was fun but far too brief, as it always tends to be. Suze made an enormous amount of food, which was all the more impressive when we found out that Jon had actually stopped her from making more. Brevitous as the visit turned out to be, it was still nice to see them and the Lukasewyczes, in town from Seattle.

Off to pack. And shovel my driveway. And 1,000 things we need to do.

Day three hundred and nine.

Uncle Steve taking a shot of Kyla.
85 BlogPoints for the first person to notice what is horribly wrong (and frankly quite funny) about this photo.

Uncle Jon doing dishes with flair

Monday, December 21, 2009

Coyness.

I pass this tree every day on my way home. I like it.

This photo is explained below.

For the first time in a while, the girls had a flawless morning ritual. I don't think there was a raised voice or unhappy eye in the house, except for one brief moment where Lily unintentionally roundhouse kicked Abby in the face. And to be honest, I don't entirely believe it was unintentional, but my life is going to be a lot easier believing it was, so that's what I'm going with.

No tantrums today; no irrational needs or demands; nothing unsettling. It was idyllic. This stands in stark contrast to the past couple weeks. Abby especially has been rather crankified while dealing with her cold, but she's just about done with it. Hurrah! Just in time to stick them on an airplane.

Our neighbors Jeff and Esther came over post-work to hang out and deliver two absurdly cute handknit winter hats for the girls. They caught the Lily in a weird mood - I'd just had to defuse her from a little snit - and in an unprecedented move, she would not leave the kitchen to see them. I've never seen her so shy before. She was pretty much rooted to that spot in the photo above, looking sternly our way. She is starting to hit that stage, though, where she digs her heels in on any issue, so when we started trying to coax her into the dining room, it only fortified her anti-social stance. Abby was her typical self: she buried her face into Jen's neck and peeked out coyly, which is pretty normal for her.

Later on, I found myself in Richfield for the first night of pick up hockey for the year. I skated around a lot and now I am very sore.

Thank you again Jeff and Esther for the hats, they are fantastic!

Day three hundred and eight.

Abs in high def!

Lily in high def as well!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Leaving the house...overrated.

Coloring and spitting like a camel.

So I'm Facebook friends with one of the people that works at our daycare. She's great, I like her a lot. Her last status, however, mentioned something about "Mondays are rotten at work". I'm not sure how to feel about that. Is it my kids? Are my kids rotten on Mondays? I have to wonder.

We almost spent the entire day indoors today, it was very close, but at the last minute Lily seemed to get it in her head that we should go for a car ride, so go for a ride we did. Our reasoning for avoiding the out of doors was completely pragmatic: we were absolutely not going to the malls, there's no where else to take our kids, and we didn't want to risk exacerbating their illnesses (both are clinging to a nasty cough) by heading out for snow-based frivolity. Getting them sick two days before their first plane trip would be the pinnacle of dunderheadedness on our part.

But that's okay, because there is great fun to having a day inside. We could have kept them in their jammies all day, if not for the 2 cups of milk and half a banana Abby smeared on herself. The new kitchen set from Grandma and Grandpa got a whole lot of mileage.

Sometime around 5:15, Lily pointed at the door and said, "Car." This was repeated often and in ever increasing urgencies, until finally we got the point that the kid must have a little cabin fever. So we got them dressed and drove around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. "OOoohh!!" we said. They responded in kind. I think they had a good time.

Three days left before their very first plane ride! We're both nervous. Abby is in this interesting phase right now where she has a tantrum for nothing at all, and she is inconsolable during them. There is a collective, familial holding of the breath right now. We'll see what Wednesday brings.

Day three hundred and seven.

Abby still likes to draw on her hands.

Late night.

Grandpa came by today to drop off the girls' Christmas gift....a brand new kitchen playset!! It's pretty awesome, actually; it makes boiling/sizzling noises when you put pans on it.

It's quarter to one, and we've just returned from my company's holiday party. I consider it an amazing perk to be in a position that I get to have a holiday party. We did a bit of bowling, had some drinks, and played laser tag...laser tag! How awesome is that? I think it's important for the girls to know that their parents ditched them tonight so that we could play laser tag. For the record, when we were starting the game I asked Jen if we should be on opposite teams or the same team. She said, "Same team!" Aww. She likes me. She could never shoot me.

We definitely had a good time, it was a fun night. I, however, bowled my worst game ever; it was somewhere in the 80's. Just miserable.

The girls were left in the fantastically generous hands of Jen, a fellow MBAite from the Carlson School, who is awesome with our kids. Thanks Jen!

That's it. We're off to bed, so I can get up in 5 hours and chase the morons around the house again.

Day three hundred and six

Lily learning to "cook".