Watching CNN is bad for parenting.

Kids are a battlefield.

CNN has crackerjack timing. Seeking the refuge of some mindless drivel from the newsies while I cleaned up post-bedtime, I turned to CNN. The girls had been been down for less than 2 minutes. The first words out of the tv:

"...thanks Frank, that was a super human interest piece. Now we've got some breaking news you won't want to miss. You will not want to put your kids to bed before watching this."

Thanks, Ted Turner. As it turned out, it was a story about a crib recall. Apparently some drop-sided cribs can come apart and the tots can become trapped. Their heavily-used graphic for this story was a still shot of a baby-sized rag doll pinned between the crib wall and the mattress, which is going to give me nightmares. It took a monumental effort of will to not run upstairs and peek on the girls and make sure all was well, despite the fact that the recall was not for a crib we have. But still: should they not run this story just a little earlier?

The real question is: if it DID affect us, would I roust the girls, or just assume that they've gone this long, certainly one more night in a recalled crib couldn't hurt? And what would I do with them if I got them up? Make them sleep on the couch? The good people at CNN offered no alternatives; just grim photos of asphyxiating baby dolls.

Tonight was swell. I was flying solo (I never miss an opportunity to mention if I have to be alone; this ensures I get maximum empathy from our readers. Awww...) since Jen had class. Me and the girls came to our usual Monday night agreement: they don't scream at Daddy, and Daddy lets them play with the electrical outlets.

I did find out the interesting way that Lily is now able to clamber up on the dining room chairs with no aid (I assume there was no aid. I didn't help her, and I don't think Abby was down there giving her the two handed boost. But if that did happen, how awesome would that be??). I'd left a pair of scissors right in the middle of the dining room table, went to the kitchen for a minute, and found the brown one sitting complacently, gingerly running her hands all over those shiny blades. Super job, Dave. So the dining room has been lost as a horizontal surface that can be used to hide/place things. We're almost down to just the mantle, and I imagine it won't be long until the girls fashion their own ladders. Then, it's boarding school.

Day two hundred and ninety.

Yup. So, we're starting to introduce this whole topic.

So thoughtful.