Scream therapy.

Walking a mile in Daddy's shoes.

(5:03pm. Chicago Ave South and 52nd Street. Inside the unassuming blue Forester with an ironic Apple sticker on the rear window, rocketing north towards Powderhorn.)

"...how was your day, girls??"

[nothing]

"Did you guys do anything fun today at day care?"

[belch. slight whine.]

"Do you guys want to sing songs on the way home?"

Lily: "Yah!"

"Okay. 'Iiiiiiiiiiiif you're happy and you know it clap your hands...'" (continued to its logical conclusion)

Both morons: "Yaaay! More more more more more more more more"

"Sure! How about this: 'I'm all made of hinges and everything bends, from the top of my head way down to my ends....'"

Lily: "No! No no no! Nooooo!"

"What?"

Lily: "More"

"Oooookay. 'Sarasponda sarasponda sarasponda ret set set...'"

Lily (and Abby chiming in now): "Noooooooo!"

[I'm thinking]

Both: "more more more more more more"

"'If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands??'"

[Both laugh. I finish the song.]

"More more more more!"

"Sure." (I know better, but try this anyway) "'There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo..'"

"Nooooo no no no no!"

I went back to "If you're happy" for about 18 more refrains. Sick of 'clap your hands', it soon became:

If you're happy and you know it...snap your fingers
...hit your head
...stamp your feet
...yell 'Hello'
...scream at the guy driving slow in front of us (you think I'm joking; oh no, we sang it)
...slap the dashboard
...say 'Hi Daddy'
...swerve the car (that was fun, actually)
...swear at cabs

Okay, this makes me sound like a bad/dangerous/angry driver, but it was all in fun. Except maybe for the cabs thing, as I truly hold those guys in some serious contempt.

Later on during the commute, I'm not sure how the ball got rolling, but we all got in a shouting contest. Not the bad kind; a fun one, where we all took turns yelling. It was hilarious. Lily would scream her head off, Abby would yell at the top of her tiny little lungs, and I would follow suit. All of us, really pretty loud actually. I told them it was cathartic. I think they liked it...they did clap their hands, so that meant they were happy and they knew it.

Day two hundred and eighty six.

Shorty.