Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Abby, Lily...Johnny never came back from the fair.

Crayola kung-fu!

Snooty little artist.

If you're looking for some closure on Lily's bad mood last night, and whether it was just a mood or if she was suffering from some toddler ailment, join the club. She woke up a few times in a full-on cry during the night. But she was easily consoled, and went back to bed fairly easily. It's a mystery. We'll see how tonight goes I guess.

Thanks Emily for the trivia on the alphabet song. Mozart....crazy! I would not have thought that, it seems like such a lame song for him.

Let's talk about music. Again. Our car is sporting as a near-permanent fixture 3 whole CD's worth of kid's sing-along songs. This equates to over 100 kid songs that are guaranteed to make you want to blow your head clean off. I think Hemingway had these on phonograph. They are at once kinda catchy and extraordinarily irritating.

When you've listened as much as we have, certain lyrics start to make you wonder what the hell they were thinking when they wrote these songs. Here are some notables:

- "I've been working on the railroad just to pass the time away." (I've Been Working on the Railroad)

Working on the railroad is menial, grueling work, usually completed by immigrant workers at near-slave wages. As many as 150 people were killed during the building of the transcontinental railroad. Nobody passes time by 'working on the railroad'. Please.

- "...and with the girls be handy." (Yankee Doodle)

I'll leave you to draw your own assumptions. Do recall that 50% of the title is made of the word 'doodle'.

- "There's a flea on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole at the bottom of the sea." (There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea)

I can only assume the bottom of the sea here is the Marianas Trench, where the bottom of the sea reaches 36,200 feet and there are assuredly no frogs or fleas or kids to sing this crap.

- "Saw a rabbit hopping by, knocking at the door. 'Help me help me help me,' he said; 'or the hunter will shoot me dead!'" (Little Cabin in the Wood)

This. Is. Meant. For. Little. Kids.

- "Boom boom, ain't it great to be crazy?" (Same as quote)

Visit any insane asylum and you will likely find patients bellowing out these exact sentiments. It's also great to use poor grammar, ain't it?

- "Can you throw 'em [your ears] over your shoulder like a Continental soldier?" (Do Your Ears Hang Low?)

Is this meant to be some slanderous heckling from the redcoat ranks? Damn you, Englishmen! We in the Americas are proud of our large ears!

- "Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea.
Sukey take it off again, they've all gone away.
If Sukey takes the kettle off, we won't have tea.
But Polly puts it on again, we'll all have tea." (Polly Put the Kettle On)

I've been fortunate to never hear this song on a bridge, because if I ever do I'm driving right off it. What kind of name is 'Sukey'? Who would ask Polly for tea then just bolt, leaving Sukey to take the kettle off, only to come back later and demand the tea again? Somebody here is being a d-bag.

- "Eensy Weensy Spider" (Same)

Just have to mention this on principle: it's "Itsy Bitsy Spider" I don't know who made this disc, but they're morons. Eensy Weensy Spider sounds idiotic and has no class.

- "There was an old man named Michael Finnigin
Climbed a tree and barked his shin-i-gin
Took off sev'ral yards of skin-i-gin." (Michael Finnigin)

Only in a kid's song can a horrific flesh wound running the length of someone's leg be cause for rhyme-making merriment.

- "The bear went over the mountain to see what he could see (19 x's)
The other side of the mountain was all that he could see." (The Bear Went Over the Mountain)

What kind of existential quandary has this bear found himself in? "The bear was filled with self-loathing, the bear was filled...."

- "Take a little boy and tap him on the shoulder." (Bluebird, Bluebird)

Nothing particularly offensive or strange, it's just so meaningless. I'm not presenting it out of context...the line stands pretty much alone, and the rest of the song is equally nonsensical. "Bluebird bluebird through my window; oh Johnny I'm tired." Umm...what?

- "I ain't gonna study war no more." (Down by the Riverside)

I actually kinda like the notion of giving up the study of warfare. It's nicely echoed in the Wilco song: "There's a war on war, there's a war on war, you're gonna lose."

- "Oh dear, what can the matter be? Johnny's so long at the fair." [and] "And then for a smile, oh, he vowed he would tease me." (Oh Dear! What Can the Matter Be?)

It's so macabre! The first stanza is that first line repeated, and there is NEVER ANY RESOLUTION! Johnny never does come home from the fair, despite his promises to tease the songwriter. As a casual listener, I can only assume Johnny fell victim to a horrific combine accident.

- "Oh the old grey mare she ain't what she used to be." (The Old Grey Mare)

A biting, bleak look at retirement and obsolescence. Enjoy, Timmy and Janey! (and how popular was "ain't" back in the day? Apparently, very much so)

- "We will kill the old red rooster when she comes." (She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain)

Here I am, just a happy red rooster pecking at some dirt. Oh look, the family is so excited! Cluck! Oh joy, their prodigal family member has come back! Hoo-ray! Look, they're so happy, they're getting the axe! What a great day! What a happ...oh. Oh shit.

Day two hundred and forty nine.

I was playing with the flash a little on these.

1 comment:

  1. Dave:
    I have only one thought after reading your entry about kids' song lyrics: YOU SIMPLY MUST GET MORE SLEEP!!!!
    Dad

    ReplyDelete