I would rather eat cat poop than cooked brocolli. Jen loves cooked brocolli and wants to marry it.
Today, I made some for the girls for dinner. Abby turned up her nose at it. Lily crammed it into her esophagus as fast as is humanly possible.
Let there be no doubt whose kid is whose.
And in a crazy twist you never saw coming (take notes, M. Night!), I eat way more brocolli than Jen does, as I don't mind it raw and eat it frequently for the sheer goodness of it. It's actually rather pleasant raw. Cook it, though, and it tastes like the 5th circle of hell.
Today, Jen was at school from 9 until 9. 12 hours spent working tirelessly. Of course she comes home and thanks me and tells me she owes me, and so I ask you: how big of a dink would I be if I considered her indebted to me because I watched the kids all day while she was at school? So thanks Jen, but no thanks. I won't take you up on your offer of having all next weekend off from the kids.
For anyone interested in what my answer was to the dilemma of what to do with the kids today, the answer is: nothing. I had considered leaving to go do some shopping. This thought was usually followed by my visualizing the girls and me in the MOA, which was followed by me hyperventilating. Instead, I thought i could bring the girls out into the snow and play, which seemed like a home run idea. It was a total debacle.
Not the fault of the girls, though; they were troopers for the most part. I, however, apparently do not know how to dress toddlers in a waterproof/snowproof manner yet. I have seen parents and kids who are impossibly well put together and sophisticated, out in the snow enjoying themselves. To them I say: "How dare you flaunt your abilities." I do not have the skill to dress my kids.
Most importantly, I could not get their mittens to stay on, not for more than 9 seconds. They're impossible. They're too big, I think, but they're age appropriate, so I don't know what's going on. Both kids think taking their hats off is the easiest way to make me happy, so that happens the second I put them on. Abby had a particularly hard time. After all the preparations and layering, I brought them outside and put them in the snow. After a little bit, she started to get whiny, so I checked her out. There was at least 3 inches of bare leg, totally soaking up the snow and getting drenched. I'm still not sure how or why, but I couldn't cover her in a way that didn't allow 19 pounds of snow to funnel directly into her boots.
I admitted defeat pretty quickly.
The day passed, then, just doing random things around the house, simply partaking in whatever activity we had a whim for at any given moment. There was some roughhousing for a while, which was fun because they're just starting to do that. They both tried to tackle me, and as far as they know, they succeeded (I was faking...they're way too light and weak! They could never take me down).
Day two hundred and ninety nine.
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